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第45部分(第1页)

my life; because I have had strange ones of my own。 Sympathies; I believe; exist (for instance; between far…distant; long…absent; wholly estranged relatives asserting; notwithstanding their alienation; the unity of the source to which each traces his origin) whose workings baffle mortal prehension。 And signs; for aught we know; may be but the sympathies of Nature with man。

When I was a little girl; only six years old; I one night heard Bessie Leaven say to Martha Abbot that she had been dreaming about a little child; and that to dream of children was a sure sign of trouble; either to one’s self or one’s kin。 The saying might have worn out of my memory; had not a circumstance immediately followed which served indelibly to fix it there。 The next day Bessie was sent for home to the deathbed of her little sister。

Of late I had often recalled this saying and this incident; for during the past week scarcely a night had gone over my couch that had not brought with it a dream of an infant; which I sometimes hushed in my arms; sometimes dandled on my knee; sometimes watched playing with daisies on a lawn; or again; dabbling its hands in running water。 It was a wailing child this night; and a laughing one the next: now it nestled close to me; and now it ran from me; but whatever mood the apparition evinced; whatever aspect it wore; it failed not for seven successive nights to meet me the moment I entered the land of slumber。

I did not like this iteration of one idea—this strange recurrence of one image; and I grew nervous as bedtime approached and the hour of the vision drew near。 It was from panionship with this baby… phantom I had been roused on that moonlight night when I heard the cry; and it was on the afternoon of the day following I was summoned downstairs by a message that some one wanted me in Mrs。 Fairfax’s room。 On repairing thither; I found a man waiting for me; having the appearance of a gentleman’s servant: he was dressed in deep mourning; and the hat he held in his hand was surrounded with a crape band。

“I daresay you hardly remember me; Miss;” he said; rising as I entered; “but my name is Leaven: I lived coachman with Mrs。 Reed when you were at Gateshead; eight or nine years since; and I live there still。”

“Oh; Robert! how do you do? I remember you very well: you used to give me a ride sometimes on Miss Georgiana’s bay pony。 And how is Bessie? You are married to Bessie?”

“Yes; Miss: my wife is very hearty; thank you; she brought me another little one about two months since—we have three now—and both mother and child are thriving。”

“And are the family well at the house; Robert?”

“I am sorry I can’t give you better news of them; Miss: they are very badly at present—in great trouble。”

“I hope no one is dead;” I said; glancing at his black dress。 He too looked down at the crape round his hat and replied—

“Mr。 John died yesterday was a week; at his chambers in London。”

“Mr。 John?”

“Yes。”

“And how does his mother bear it?”

“Why; you see; Miss Eyre; it is not a mon mishap: his life has been very wild: these last three years he gave himself up to strange ways; and his death was shocking。”

“I heard from Bessie he was not doing well。”

“Doing well! He could not do worse: he ruined his health and his estate amongst the worst men and the worst women。 He got into debt and into jail: his mother helped him out twice; but as soon as he was free he returned to his old panions and habits。 His head was not strong: the knaves he lived amongst fooled him beyond anything I ever heard。 He came down to Gateshead about three weeks ago and wanted missis to give up all to him。 Missis refused: her means have long been much reduced by his extravagance; so he went back again; and the next news was that he was dead。 How he died; God knows!—they say he killed himself。”

I was silent: the things were frightful。 Robert Leaven resumed—

“Missis had been out of health herself for some time: she had got very stout; but was not strong with it; and the loss of money and fear of poverty were quite breaking her down。 The information about Mr。 John’s death and the manner of it came too suddenly: it brought on a stroke。 She was three days without speaking; but last Tuesday she seemed rather better: she appeared as if she wanted to say something; and kept making signs to my wife and mumbling。 It was only yesterday morning; however; that Bessie understood she was pronouncing your name; and at last she made out the words; ‘Bring Jane—fetch Jane Eyre: I want to speak to her。’ Bessie is not sure whether she is in her right mind; or means anything by the words; but she told Miss Reed and Miss Georgiana; and advised them to send for you。 The young ladies put it off at first; but their mother grew so restless; and said; ‘Jane; Jane;’ so many times; that at last they consented。 I left Gateshead yesterday: and if you can get ready; Miss; I should like to take you back with me early to… morrow morning。”

“Yes; Robert; I shall be ready: it seems to me that I ought to go。”

“I think so too; Miss。 Bessie said she was sure you would not refuse: but I suppose you will have to ask leave before you can get off?”

“Yes; and I will do it now;” and having directed him to the servants’ hall; and remended him to the care of John’s wife; and the attentions of John himself; I went in search of Mr。 Rochester。

He was not in any of the lower rooms; he was not in the yard; the stables; or the grounds。 I asked Mrs。 Fairfax if she had seen him;—yes: she believed he was playing billiards with Miss Ingram。 To the billiard…room I hastened: the click of balls and the hum of voices resounded thence; Mr。 Rochester; Miss Ingram; the two Misses Eshton; and their admirers; were all busied in the game。 It required some courage to disturb so interesting a party; my errand; however; was one I could not defer; so I approached the master where he stood at Miss Ingram’s side。 She turned as I drew near; and looked at me haughtily: her eyes seemed to demand; “What can the creeping creature want now?” and when I said; in a low voice; “Mr。 Rochester;” she made a movement as if tempted to order me away。 I remember her appearance at the moment—it was very graceful and very striking: she wore a morning robe of sky…blue crape; a gauzy azure scarf was twisted in her hair。 She had been all animation with the game; and irritated pride did not lower the expression of her haughty lineaments。

“Does that person r。 Rochester; and Mr。 Rochester turned to see who the “person” was。 He made a curious grimace—one of his strange and equivocal demonstrations—threw down his cue and followed me from the room。

“Well; Jane?” he said; as he rested his back against the schoolroom door; which he had shut。

“If you please; sir; I want leave of absence for a week or two。”

“What to do?—where to go?”

“To see a sick lady who has sent for me。”

“What sick lady?—where does she live?”

“At Gateshead; in—shire。”

“…shire? That is a hundred miles off! Who may she be that sends for people to see her that distance?”

“Her name is Reed; sir—Mrs。 Reed。”

“Reed of Gateshead? There was a Reed of Gateshead; a magistrate。”

“It is his widow; sir。”

“And what have you to do with her? How do you know her?”

“Mr。 Reed was my uncle—my mother’s brother。”

“The deuce he was! You never told me that before: you always said you had no relations。”

“None that would own me; sir。 Mr。 Reed is dead; and his wife cast me off。”

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