tOnenight,returninghome,muchintoxicated,fromoneofmyhauntsabouttown,Ifanciedthatthecatavoidedmyresence。Iseizedhim;when,inhisfrightatmyviolence,heinflictedaslightwounduonmyhandwithhisteeth。Thefuryofademoninstantlyossessedme。Iknewmyselfnolonger。Myoriginalsoulseemed,atonce,totakeitsflightfrommybodyandamorethanfiendishmalevolence,gin-nurtured,thrilledeveryfibreofmyframe。Itookfrommywaistcoat-ocketaen-knife,oenedit,grasedtheoorbeastbythethroat,anddeliberatelycutoneofitseyesfromthesocket!Iblush,Iburn,Ishudder,whileIenthedamnableatrocity。
Whenreasonreturnedwiththemorning—whenIhadsletoffthefumesofthenightsdebauch—Iexeriencedasentimenthalfofhorror,halfofremorse,forthecrimeofwhichIhadbeenguilty;butitwas,atbest,afeebleandequivocalfeeling,andthesoulremaineduntouched。Iagainlungedintoexcess,andsoondrownedinwineallmemoryofthedeed。
Inthemeantimethecatslowlyrecovered。Thesocketofthelosteyeresented,itistrue,afrightfulaearance,buthenolongeraearedtosufferanyain。Hewentaboutthehouseasusual,but,asmightbeexected,fledinextremeterroratmyaroach。Ihadsomuchofmyoldheartleft,astobeatfirstgrievedbythisevidentdislikeontheartofacreaturewhichhadoncesolovedme。Butthisfeelingsoongavelacetoirritation。Andthencame,asiftomyfinalandirrevocableoverthrow,thesiritofPERVERSENESS。Ofthissirithilosohytakesnoaccount。YetIamnotmoresurethatmysoullives,thanIamthaterversenessisoneoftherimitiveimulsesofthehumanheart—oneoftheindivisiblerimaryfaculties,orsentiments,whichgivedirectiontothecharacterofMan。Whohasnot,ahundredtimes,foundhimselfcommittingavileorasillyaction,fornootherreasonthanbecauseheknowsheshouldnot?Havewenotaeretualinclination,intheteethofourbestjudgment,toviolatethatwhichisLaw,merelybecauseweunderstandittobesuch?Thissiritoferverseness,Isay,cametomyfinaloverthrow。Itwasthisunfathomablelongingofthesoultovexitself—toofferviolencetoitsownnature—todowrongforthewrongssakeonly—thaturgedmetocontinueandfinallytoconsummatetheinjuryIhadinflicteduontheunoffendingbrute。
Onemorning,incoolblood,Isliedanooseaboutitsneckandhungittothelimbofatree;—hungitwiththetearsstreamingfrommyeyes,andwiththebitterestremorseatmyheart;—hungitbecauseIknewthatithadlovedme,andbecauseIfeltithadgivenmenoreasonofoffence;—hungitbecauseIknewthatinsodoingIwascommittingasin—adeadlysinthatwouldsojeoardizemyimmortalsoulastolaceit—ifsuchathingwereossible—evenbeyondthereachoftheinfinitemercyoftheMostMercifulandMostTerribleGod。
Onthenightofthedayonwhichthiscrueldeedwasdone,Iwasarousedfromsleebythecryoffire。Thecurtainsofmybedwereinflames。Thewholehousewasblazing。Itwaswithgreatdifficultythatmywife,aservant,andmyself,madeourescaefromtheconflagration。Thedestructionwascomlete。Myentireworldlywealthwasswallowedu,andIresignedmyselfthenceforwardtodesair。
Iamabovetheweaknessofseekingtoestablishasequenceofcauseandeffect,betweenthedisasterandtheatrocity。ButIamdetailingachainoffacts—andwishnottoleaveevenaossiblelinkimerfect。Onthedaysucceedingthefire,Ivisitedtheruins。Thewalls,withoneexcetion,hadfallenin。Thisexcetionwasfoundinacomartmentwall,notverythick,whichstoodaboutthemiddleofthehouse,andagainstwhichhadrestedtheheadofmybed。Thelasteringhadhere,ingreatmeasure,resistedtheactionofthefire—afactwhichIattributedtoitshavingbeenrecentlysread。Aboutthiswalladensecrowdwerecollected,andmanyersonsseemedtobeexaminingaarticularortionofitwitheveryminuteandeagerattention。Thewords
"strange!
",
"singular!
"andothersimilarexressions,excitedmycuriosity。Iaroachedandsaw,asifgraveninbasreliefuonthewhitesurface,thefigureofagiganticcat。Theimressionwasgivenwithanaccuracytrulymarvellous。Therewasaroeabouttheanimalsneck。
WhenIfirstbeheldthisaarition—forIcouldscarcelyregarditasless—mywonderandmyterrorwereextreme。Butatlengthreflectioncametomyaid。Thecat,Iremembered,hadbeenhunginagardenadjacenttothehouse。Uonthealarmoffire,thisgardenhadbeenimmediatelyfilledbythecrowd—bysomeoneofwhomtheanimalmusthavebeencutfromthetreeandthrown,throughanoenwindow,intomychamber。Thishadrobablybeendonewiththeviewofarousingmefromslee。Thefallingofotherwallshadcomressedthevictimofmycrueltyintothesubstanceofthefreshly-sreadlaster;thelimeofwhich,hadthenwiththeflames,andtheammoniafromthecarcass,accomlishedtheortraitureasIsawit。
AlthoughIthusreadilyaccountedtomyreason,ifnotaltogethertomyconscience,forthestartlingfactjustdetailed,itdidnotthelessfalltomakeadeeimressionuonmyfancy。FormonthsIcouldnotridmyselfofthehantasmofthecat;and,duringthiseriod,therecamebackintomysiritahalf-sentimentthatseemed,butwasnot,remorse。Iwentsofarastoregretthelossoftheanimal,andtolookaboutme,amongthevilehauntswhichInowhabituallyfrequented,foranotheretofthesamesecies,andofsomewhatsimilaraearance,withwhichtosulyitslace。