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第9章 一个古怪的梦4（第1页）
orbid!
"Iinvoluntarilyejaculated，forsomehowIwasnotlookingforthatformofquestion，anditcaughtmealittleoffmyguard。ButIhastenedtomakeamendsformyrudeness，andsay，
"IsimlymeantIhadnothadthehonor—forIwouldnotdeliberatelyseakdiscourteouslyofafriendofyours。Youweresayingthatyouwererobbed—anditwasashame，too—butitaearsbywhatisleftoftheshroudyouhaveonthatitwasacostlyoneinitsday。Howdid…
"
Amostghastlyexressionbegantodeveloamongthedecayedfeaturesandshriveledintegumentsofmyguestsface，andIwasbeginningtogrowuneasyanddistressed，whenhetoldmehewasonlyworkinguadee，smile，withawinkinit，tosuggestthataboutthetimeheacquiredhisresentgarmentaghostinaneighboringcemeterymissedone。
Thisreassuredme，butIbeggedhimtoconfinehimselftoseechthenceforth，becausehisfacialexressionwasuncertain。Evenwiththemostelaboratecareitwasliabletomissfire。Smilingshouldeseciallybeavoided。Whathemighthonestlyconsiderashiningsuccesswaslikelytostrikemeinaverydifferentlight。IsaidIlikedtoseeaskeletoncheerful，evendecorouslylayful，butIdidnotthinksmilingwasaskeletonsbesthold。
"Yes，friend，
"saidtheoorskeleton，
"thefactsarejustasIhavegiventhemtoyou。Twooftheseoldgraveyards—theonethatIresidedinandonefurtheralonghavebeendeliberatelyneglectedbyourdescendantsoftodayuntilthereisnooccuyingthemanylonger。Asidefromtheosteologicaldiscomfortofit—andthatisnolightmatterthisrainyweather—theresentstateofthingsisruinoustoroerty。Wehavegottomoveorbecontenttoseeoureffectswastedawayandutterlydestroyed。
"Now，youwillhardlybelieveit，butitistrue，nevertheless，thatthereisntasinglecoffiningoodreairamongallmyacquaintance—nowthatisanabsolutefact。Idonotrefertoloweolewhocomeinaineboxmountedonanexress-wagon，butIamtalkingaboutyourhigh-toned，silver-mountedburial-case，yourmonumentalsort，thattravelunderblacklumesattheheadofarocessionandhavechoiceofcemeterylots—ImeanfolksliketheJarvises，andtheBledsoesandtheBurlings，andsuch。Theyareallaboutruined。
"
Themostsubstantialeoleinourset，theywere。Andnowlookatthem—utterlyuseduandoverty-stricken。OneoftheBledsoesactuallytradedhismonumenttoalatebarkeeerforsomefreshshavingstoutunderhishead。Itellyouitseaksvolumes，forthereisnothingacorsetakessomuchrideinashismonument。Helovestoreadtheinion。Hecomesafterawhiletobelievewhatitsayshimself，andthenyoumayseehimsittingonthefencenightafternightenjoyingit。Eitahsarechea，andtheydoaoorchaaworldofgoodafterheisdead，eseciallyifhehadhardluckwhilehewasalive。Iwishtheywereusedmore。NowIdontcomlain，butconfidentiallyIdothinkitwasalittleshabbyinmydescendantstogivemenothingbutthisoldslabofagravestone—andallthemorethatthereisntacomlimentonit。Itusedtohave:
GONETOHISJUSTREWARD
"Onit，andIwasroudwhenIfirstsawit，butbyandbyInoticedthatwheneveranoldfriendofminecamealonghewouldhookhischinontherailingandullalongfaceandreadalongdowntillhecametothat，andthenhewouldchuckletohimselfandwalkoff，lookingsatisfiedandcomfortable。SoIscratcheditofftogetridofthosefools。Butadeadmanalwaystakesadealofrideinhismonument。
"
"YondergoeshalfadozenoftheJarvisesnow，withthefamilymonumentalong。AndSmithersandsomehiredsecterswentbywithhisawhileago。Hello，Higgins，good-by，oldfriend!ThatsMeredithHiggins—diedin44—belongstooursetinthecemetery—fineoldfamily—great-grandmotherwasanInjun—Iamonthemostfamiliartermswithhimhedidnthearmewasthereasonhedidntanswerme。AndIamsorry，too，becauseIwouldhavelikedtointroduceyou。Youwouldadmirehim。Heisthemostdisjointed，sway-backed，andgenerallydistortedoldskeletonyoueversaw，butheisfulloffun。Whenhelaughsitsoundslikerasingtwostonestogether，andhealwaysstartsitoffwithacheeryscreechlikerakinganailacrossawindow-ane。
"
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