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第5章 一只狗狗的告白adgill2（第1页）

enthehumanbabiescamealongandIsharedyourexcitement。Iwasfascinatedbytheirinkness，howtheysmelled，andIwantedtomotherthem，too。OnlysheandyouworriedthatImighthurtthem，andIsentmostofmytimebanishedtoanotherroom，ortoadogcrate。Oh，howIwantedtolovethem，butIbecamea“risoneroflove”。Astheybegantogrow，Ibecametheirfriend。

Theyclungtomyfurandulledthemselvesuonwobblylegs，okedfingersinmyeyes，investigatedmyears，andgavemekissesonmynose。Ilovedeverythingaboutthemandtheirtouch—becauseyourtouchwasnowsoinfrequent—andIwouldhavedefendedthemwithmylifeifneedbe。Iwouldsneakintotheirbedsandlistentotheirworriesandsecretdreams，andtogetherwewaitedforthesoundofyourcarinthedriveway。

Therehadbeenatime，whenothersaskedyouifyouhadadog，thatyouroducedahotoofmefromyourwalletandtoldthemstoriesaboutme。Theseastfewyears，youjustanswered“yes”andchangedthesubject。Ihadgonefrombeing“yourdog”to“justadog”，andyouresentedeveryexenditureonmybehalf。Now，youhaveanewcareeroortunityinanothercity，andyouandtheywillbemovingtoanaartmentthatdoesnotallowets。You’vemadetherightdecisionforyour“family”，buttherewasatimewhenIwasyouronlyfamily。

Iwasexcitedaboutthecarrideuntilwearrivedattheanimalshelter。Itsmelledofdogsandcats，offear，ofhoelessness。Youfilledouttheaerworkandsaid“Iknowyouwillfindagoodhomeforher”。Theyshruggedandgaveyouaainedlook。Theyunderstandtherealitiesfacingamiddle-ageddog，evenonewith“aers”。Youhadtoryyourson’sfingersloosefrommycollar，ashescreamed，“No，Daddy。Pleasedon’tletthemtakemydog！”AndIworriedforhim，andwhatlessonsyouhadjusttaughthimaboutfriendshiandloyalty，aboutloveandresonsibility，andaboutresectforalllife。

Yougavemeagood-byeatonthehead，avoidedmyeyes，andolitelyrefusedtotakemycollarandleashwithyou。YouhadadeadlinetomeetandnowIhaveone，too。Afteryouleft，thetwoniceladiessaidyourobablyknewaboutyourucomingmovemonthsagoandmadenoattemttofindmeanothergoodhome。Theyshooktheirheadsandasked，“Howcouldyou”

Theyareasattentivetoushereintheshelterastheirbusyschedulesallow。Theyfeedus，ofcourse，butIlostmyaetitedaysago。Atfirst，wheneveranyoneassedmyen，Irushedtothefront，hoingitwasyou—thatyouhadchangedyourmind—thatthiswasallabaddream…orIhoeditwouldatleastbesomeonewhocared，anyonewhomightsaveme。WhenIrealizedIcouldnotcometewiththefrolickingforattentionofhayuies，oblivioustotheirownfate，Iretreatedtoafarcornerandwaited。

Iheardherfootstesasshecameformeattheendoftheday，andIaddedalongtheaisleafterhertoasearateroom。Ablissfullyquietroom。Shelacedmeonthetableandrubbedmyears，andtoldmenottoworry。Myheartoundedinanticiationofwhatwastocome，buttherewasalsoasenseofrelief。Therisoneroflovehadrunoutofdays。Asismynature，Iwasmoreconcernedabouther。Theburdenwhichshebearsweighsheavilyonher，andIknowthat，thesamewayIknewyoureverymood。Shegentlylacedatourniquetaroundmyforelegasatearrandownhercheek。IlickedherhandinthesamewayIusedtocomfortyousomanyyearsago。Sheexertlyslidthehyodermicneedleintomyvein。AsIfeltthestingandthecoolliquidcoursingthroughmybody，Ilaydownsleeily，lookedintoherkindeyesandmurmured，“Howcouldyou”

Perhasbecausesheunderstoodmydogseak，shesaid“I’msosorry。”Shehuggedme，andhurriedlyexlaineditwasherjobtomakesureIwenttoabetterlace，whereIwouldn’tbeignoredorabusedorabandoned，orhavetofendformyself—alaceofloveandlightsoverydifferentfromthisearthlylace。

Andwithmylastbitofenergy，Itriedtoconveytoherwithathumofmytailthatmy“Howcouldyou”wasnotdirectedather。Itwasyou，MyBelovedMaster，Iwasthinkingof。Iwillthinkofyouandwaitforyouforever。Mayeveryoneinyourlifecontinuetoshowyousomuchloyalty。