1TItwasonalateArilafternoonthatthingstookahorribleturn。ThegirlswereinthebackyardlayingwithCheyennewhileIwenttothestore。WhenIgotbackhomeandulledintothedriveway,aickutruckcameseedingdownourstreet。Igotoutofmycar,keysinhand,andsawthatCheyennehadgottenloose。Sheranastmeinablur。
“Cheyenne!”Icalledout。“No!Getbackhere!”Butitwastoolate。Shechasedafterthetruck,caughtutothefronttires,andwasfliedintheairbeforelandingwithathudonthesideoftheroad。
Luckily,thevetwasstilloenandtheytookherrightin。IketwatchingCheyenne’sside,willinghertokeebreathingasthevetutherontheexaminingtable。
“Thefrontlegaearstobetheworstofherinjuries,”hesaid,inchingbetweenhertoeswithasilverclam。“Thenerveshavebeendamagedandshedoesn’thaveanyfeeling。I’mafraidwe’llhavetoamutate。”
ThedayofCheyenne’ssurgerywasthelongestdayofmylife。Nothingrearedusforwhatwewouldseeoncewewenttoickheru。Inthebottomcage,Cheyennelayantingandblinkingsleeyeyes,theentirerightsideofherbodyshavedcleanfromherstomachtoherneck。Awhitebandagewaswraedaroundtheshoulderareawhereherlegusedtobe。Alastictubewasalsotaedtotheareatohelthesurgicalsitedrain。Shelookedtotallymiserable。TearsslidfrommyeyesasIsawCheyenne’stailgiveafaintwag。
ThatnightweallcamedonthefloortosleenexttoCheyenne。Asshemoanedinagonyandlayonthesideunabletomove,Ikettryingtoictureherassheusedtobe:running,laying,juminguonthebedtosnuggledownnexttome。Ifeltfrightenedanduncertain,wonderinghowshewouldeverbethatsamecarefreeuagain。Inaway,Iunderstoodthekindoftraumashewasgoingthrough。Onedayyouwerehay,thenlifejustshattered,leavingyouinaworldofain。
KittyandItookshiftsforthefirstfewnights。We’dkeewatch,trytocomforther,giveherainillsandfeedhervanillaicecreamfromasoon。She’ddoze,butusuallyshewastoouncomfortabletoslee。Everyfewhours,we’dcarryheroutsideandhelherstandsoshecouldgotothebathroom。Wewereexhausted,butnothingwasmoreimortantthanCheyennecomingbacktous—evenifshewouldneverbethesameagain。
OnMondayIhadtotakecareofhermyselfwhenKittywenttoschool。MaryketbusywithhercoloringbookswhileIconstantlyhoveredoverCheyenne。Ichangedherbandagesandmadesureshewasn’ttryingtobiteatthem。Istrokedherheadandkettellingherhowstrongshewas。Seeinghersomiserableandwatchingthebloodoozefromherdrainagetubebrokemyheartoverandoveragain。Imissedhersweeteyeslookingatmewithloveinsteadofsomuchsuffering。“You’reasurvivor,”Iwhiseredinherear。“Weneedyou,soyouhavetogetbetter。Thosechildrenaredeendingonyou,solease…don’tgiveu。Fightandgetthroughthis。”
AsIsaidthesethingstoher,somethingstruckmedeeinside。Thesamewordsaliedtome。Ithadbeenanightmaresincethedivorce,theainsodeethatIwantedtocurluanddie;Ididn’tseemyselfabletostandonmyown。Butweren’tthechildrendeendingonme,tooDidn’tIhavetofightandgetthroughthisTearsrandownmycheeksasIlaymyfaceagainstCheyenne’smuzzle。Itwassosoftandherbreathfannedmyskin。Breaththatremindedmehowreciouslifewas。
“I’llmakeadealwithyou,girl,”Isaid。“Ifyoufightandgetthroughthis,I’llfightmywayback,too。We’lllearnhowtowalkonourowntogether。”
Fromthatdayon,thingssteadilyimroved。Cheyennelookedmorealertandcomfortable,daringtotakeherfirststes,whileIstartedcryinglessandsmilingmore。Ahealingwasbeginningtotakelaceanditfeltsoverygood。Onedayatatime,onesteatatime,CheyenneandIweremakingittogether。
“Look,mom!She’sdoingit!Cheyenne’swalkingonherown!”KittyointedasCheyennewanderedabouttheyardoneweeklater。Shemanagedjustfinewiththefrontlegmissing。Infact,itseemedasifshedidn’tmissitmuchatall。
Maryclaedhaily。“Justlikeheroldself!”
Ithoughtaboutthatamomentandhadtodisagree。“Actually,sweetheart,IthinkCheyenne’sgoingtobebetterthansheusedtobe。She’llbestrongerbecauseshe’sasurvivornow。Justlikeus…betterthanever。”
Inthatinstant,Cheyennestoedandlookedatme。Thegleamwasbackinthosegoldeneyes。Webothhadanewlifetolookforwardto,onerecioussteatatime。