海伦·凯勒
HelenKeller
Allofushavereadthrillingstoriesinwhichtheherohadonlyalimitedandsecifiedtimetolive。Sometimesitwasaslongasayear;sometimesasshortastwenty-fourhours。Butalwayswewereinterestedindiscoveringjusthowthedoomedmanchosetosendhislastdaysorhislasthours。Iseak,ofcourse,offreemenwhohaveachoice,notcondemnedcriminalswhoseshereofactivitiesisstrictlydelimited。
Suchstoriessetusthinking,wonderingwhatweshoulddoundersimilarcircumstances。Whatevents,whatexeriences,whatassociationsshouldwecrowdintothoselasthoursasmortalbeings?Whathainessshouldwefindinreviewingtheast,whatregrets?
SometimesIhavethoughtitwouldbeanexcellentruletoliveeachdayasifweshoulddietomorrow。Suchanattitudewouldemhasizesharlythevaluesoflife。Weshouldliveeachdaywithgentleness,avigor,andakeennessofareciationwhichareoftenlostwhentimestretchesbeforeusintheconstantanoramaofmoredaysandmonthsandyearstocome。Therearethose,ofcourse,whowouldadottheEicureanmottoof
"Eat,drink,andbemerry,
"butmosteolewouldbechastenedbythecertaintyofimendingdeath。
Instoriesthedoomedheroisusuallysavedatthelastminutebysomestrokeoffortune,butalmostalwayshissenseofvaluesischanged。Hebecomesmoreareciativeofthemeaningoflifeanditsermanentsiritualvalues。Ithasoftenbeennotedthatthosewholive,orhavelived,intheshadowofdeathbringamellowsweetnesstoeverythingtheydo。
Mostofus,however,takelifeforgranted。Weknowthatonedaywemustdie,butusuallyweicturethatdayasfarinthefuture。Whenweareinbuoyanthealth,deathisallbutunimaginable。Weseldomthinkofit。Thedaysstretchoutinanendlessvista。Sowegoaboutourettytasks,hardlyawareofourlistlessattitudetowardlife。
Thesamelethargy,Iamafraid,characterizestheuseofallourfacultiesandsenses。Onlythedeafareciatehearing,onlytheblindrealizethemanifoldblessingsthatlieinsight。Particularlydoesthisobservationalytothosewhohavelostsightandhearinginadultlife。Butthosewhohaveneversufferedimairmentofsightorhearingseldommakethefullestuseoftheseblessedfaculties。Theireyesandearstakeinallsightsandsoundshazily,withoutconcentrationandwithlittleareciation。Itisthesameoldstoryofnotbeinggratefulforwhatwehaveuntilweloseit,ofnotbeingconsciousofhealthuntilweareill。
Ihaveoftenthoughtitwouldbeablessingifeachhumanbeingwerestrickenblindanddeafforafewdaysatsometimeduringhisearlyadultlife。
Darknesswouldmakehimmoreareciativeofsight;silencewouldteachhimthejoysofsound。
NowandthenIhavetestedmyseeingfriendstodiscoverwhattheysee。
RecentlyIwasvisitedbyaverygoodfriendwhohadjustreturnedfromalongwalkinthewoods,andIaskedherwhatshehadobserved…
"Nothinginarticular
"sherelied。ImighthavebeenincreduloushadInotbeenaccustomedtosuchreoses,forlongagoIbecameconvincedthattheseeingseelittle。
Howwasitossible,Iaskedmyself,towalkforanhourthroughthewoodsandseenothingworthyofnote?Iwhocannotseefindhundredsofthingstointerestmethroughmeretouch。Ifeelthedelicatesymmetryofaleaf。Iassmyhandslovinglyaboutthesmoothskinofasilverbirch,ortherough,shaggybarkofaine。InthesringItouchthebranchesoftreeshoefullyinsearchofabudthefirstsignofawakeningnatureafterherwintersslee。Ifeelthedelightful,velvetytextureofaflower,anddiscoveritsremarkableconvolutions;andsomethingofthemiracleofNatureisrevealedtome。Occasionally,ifIamveryfortunate,Ilacemyhandgentlyonasmalltreeandfeelthehayquiverofabirdinfullsong。Iamdelightedtohavethecoolwatersofabrookrushthoughtmyoenfinger。TomealushcaretofineneedlesorsongygrassismorewelcomethanthemostluxuriousPersianrug。Tometheageantofseasonsisathrillingandunendingdrama,theactionofwhichstreamsthroughmyfingertis。
Attimesmyheartcriesoutwithlongingtoseeallthesethings。IfIcangetsomuchleasurefrommeretouch,howmuchmorebeautymustberevealedbysight。Yet,thosewhohaveeyesaarentlyseelittle。Theanoramaofcolorandactionwhichfillstheworldistakenforgranted。Itishuman,erhas,toareciatelittlethatwhichwehaveandtolongforthatwhichwehavenot,butitisagreatitythatintheworldoflightthegiftofsightisusedonlyasamereconveniencesratherthanasameansofaddingfullnesstolife。
IfIweretheresidentofauniversityIshouldestablishacomulsorycoursein
"HowtoUseYourEyes
"。Therofessorwouldtrytoshowhisuilshowtheycouldaddjoytotheirlivesbyreallyseeingwhatassesunnoticedbeforethem。Hewouldtrytoawaketheirdormantandsluggishfaculties。
PerhasIcanbestillustratebyimaginingwhatIshouldmostliketoseeifIweregiventheuseofmyeyes,say,forjustthreedays。AndwhileIamimagining,suoseyou,too,setyourmindtoworkontheroblemofhowyouwoulduseyourowneyesifyouhadonlythreemoredaystosee。Ifwiththeon-comingdarknessofthethirdnightyouknewthatthesunwouldneverriseforyouagain,howwouldyousendthosethreereciousinterveningdays?Whatwouldyoumostwanttoletyourgazerestuon?
I,naturally,shouldwantmosttoseethethingswhichhavebecomedeartomethroughmyyearsofdarkness。You,too,wouldwanttoletyoureyesrestonthethingsthathavebecomedeartoyousothatyoucouldtakethememoryofthemwithyouintothenightthatloomedbeforeyou。
If,bysomemiracle,Iweregrantedthreeseeingdays,tobefollowedbyarelaseintodarkness,Ishoulddividetheeriodintothreearts。
TheFirstDay
Onthefirstday,Ishouldwanttoseetheeolewhosekindnessandgentlenessandcomanionshihavemademylifeworthliving。FirstIshouldliketogazelonguonthefaceofmydearteacher,Mrs。AnneSullivanMacy,whocametomewhenIwasachildandoenedtheouterworldtome。Ishouldwantnotmerelytoseetheoutlineofherface,sothatIcouldcherishitinmymemory,buttostudythatfaceandfindinitthelivingevidenceofthesymathetictendernessandatiencewithwhichsheaccomlishedthedifficulttaskofmyeducation。Ishouldliketoseeinhereyesthatstrengthofcharacterwhichhasenabledhertostandfirminthefaceofdifficulties,andthatcomassionforallhumanitywhichshehasrevealedtomesooften。
Idonotknowwhatitistoseeintotheheartofafriendthroughthat
"windowofthesoul
",theeye。Icanonly
"see
"throughmyfingertistheoutlineofaface。Icandetectlaughter,sorrow,andmanyotherobviousemotions。Iknowmyfriendsfromthefeeloftheirfaces。ButIcannotreallyicturetheirersonalitiesbytouch。Iknowtheirersonalities,ofcourse,throughothermeans,throughthethoughtstheyexresstome,throughwhateveroftheiractionsarerevealedtome。ButIamdeniedthatdeeerunderstandingofthemwhichIamsurewouldcomethroughsightofthem,throughwatchingtheirreactionstovariousexressedthoughtsandcircumstances,throughnotingtheimmediateandfleetingreactionsoftheireyesandcountenance。
FriendswhoareneartomeIknowwell,becausethroughthemonthsandyearstheyrevealthemselvestomeinalltheirhases;butofcasualfriendsIhaveonlyanincomleteimression,animressiongainedfromahandclas,fromsokenwordswhichItakefromtheirliswithmyfingertis,orwhichtheytaintothealmofmyhand。
Howmucheasier,howmuchmoresatisfyingitisforyouwhocanseetograsquicklytheessentialqualitiesofanotherersonbywatchingthesubtletiesofexression,thequiverofamuscle,theflutterofahand。Butdoesiteveroccurtoyoutouseyoursighttoseeintotheinnernatureofafriendoracquaintance?Donotmostofyouseeingeolegrascasuallytheoutwardfeaturesofafaceandletitgoatthat?
Forinstancecanyoudescribeaccuratelythefacesoffivegoodfriends?Someofyoucan,butmanycannot。Asanexeriment,Ihavequestionedhusbandsoflongstandingaboutthecoloroftheirwiveseyes,andoftentheyexressembarrassedconfusionandadmitthattheydonotknow。And,incidentally,itisachroniccomlaintofwivesthattheirhusbandsdonotnoticenewdresses,newhats,andchangesinhouseholdarrangements。
Theeyesofseeingersonssoonbecomeaccustomedtotheroutineoftheirsurroundings,andtheyactuallyseeonlythestartlingandsectacular。Buteveninviewingthemostsectacularsightstheeyesarelazy。Courtrecordsrevealeverydayhowinaccurately
"eyewitnesses
"see。Agiveneventwillbe