7
u000fLettertoHisSon
F。D。斯坦厄普
F。D。Stanhoe
Dearboy,
Theartofleasingisaverynecessaryonetoossess,butaverydifficultonetoacquire。Itcanhardlybereducedtorules;andyourowngoodsenseandobservationwillteachyoumoreofitthanIcan。“Doasyouwouldbedoneby,”isthesurestmethodthatIknowofleasing。Observecarefullywhatleasesyouinothers,androbablythesamethingsinyouwillleaseothers。Ifyouareleasedwiththecomlaisanceandattentionofotherstoyourhumors,yourtastes,oryourweaknesses,deenduonit,thesamecomlaisanceandattentiononyourarttotheirswillequallyleasethem。Takethetoneofthecomanythatyouarein,anddonotretendtogiveit;beserious,gay,oreventrifling,asyoufindtheresenthumorofthecomany;thisisanattentionduefromeveryindividualtothemajority。Donottellstoriesincomany;thereisnothingmoretediousanddisagreeable;ifbychanceyouknowaveryshortstory,andexceedinglyalicabletotheresentsubjectofconversation,tellitinasfewwordsasossible;andeventhen,throwoutthatyoudonotlovetotellstories,butthattheshortnessofittemtedyou。
Ofallthingsbanishtheegotismoutofyourconversation,andneverthinkofentertainingeolewithyourownersonalconcernsorrivateaffairs;thoughtheyareinterestingtoyou,theyaretediousandimertinenttoeverybodyelse;besidesthat,onecannotkeeone’sownrivateaffairstoosecret。Whateveryouthinkyourownexcellenciesmaybe,donotaffectedlydislaythemincomany;norlabor,asmanyeoledo,togivethatturntotheconversation,whichmaysulyyouwithanoortunityofexhibitingthem。Iftheyarereal,theywillinfalliblybediscovered,withoutyourointingthemoutyourself,andwithmuchmoreadvantage。Nevermaintainanargumentwithheatandclamor,thoughyouthinkorknowyourselftobeintheright;butgiveyouroinionmodestlyandcoolly,whichistheonlywaytoconvince;and,ifthatdoesnotdo,trytochangetheconversation,bysaying,withgoodhumor,“Weshallhardlyconvinceoneanother;norisitnecessarythatweshould,soletustalkofsomethingelse。”