佚名onymous
Oneofthemostimortantattributesanindividualcanhaveisconfidence。Confidenceisinvaluableineveryareaoflife,butinbusinessorinachievinganydegreeofgreatness,itisabsolutelyessential。Unfortunately,therearefewlaceswecangotolearnthisessentialskill。Yet,itisaskilland,assuch,canbedeveloedwiththerighttools。
Thefirsttoolforgainingconfidenceisknowledge。Knowledgeofyourownstrengthsandlimitations,andknowledgeoftheareainwhichyouwishtoexcel。Butknowledgealoneisntenough。Knowledgeleadstoconfdenceonlywhenitisvalidatedbyexerience。Wetestthevalidityofwhatwethinkorbelievebyuttingthetheoryintoactualracticeandgatheringdataorfeedbackfromtheexerience。Ifthefeedbackisositive,weassumeourtheoriesarecorrectandactaccordingly。Ifthefeedbackisnegative,theboldamonguswilladjustourcourse,whilethemoretimidoftenallowthenegativefeedbacktostothemcold。
Confidencecanbegainedbyknowing,understandingandcorrectlyalyingthefollowingformulasandfactors:
(1)Knowledge+Exerience+PositiveFeedback=Confdence。
(2)Positivefeedbackcomesfromsuccessfuloutcomes。
(3)Successfuloutcomesaretheresultofconsistentracticeandreeatedattemts。
(4)Reeatedattemtsareossibleonlywhenwebelievewewilleventuallysucceed。
Theformulaseemstosaythatwemustbelieveinourabilitytosucceedbeforewehaveexeriencedanysemblanceofsuccess,andthatistrue。Thatswheretheknowledgeartoftheconfdenceformulacomesin,andwhyitisthefrstequationintheformula。Beforewecanbelievewewillsucceedwithouteverhavingmadeanattemt,wemusthavesomeknowledgeastowhatsuccessentailsandwhatstrengthsandabilitieswebringtothemix。Wemustalsoknowthetruthabout“failure”。
Failureisnottheresultofattemtingtoachieveagoalandfallingshortofthemark。Failureoccurswhenweallowfallingshortofthemarktocauseustoquittrying。Actually,thereareonlytwowaystofail。(1)Giveubeforeyoureachagoalyoureallywantor(2)continueonaaththatiswrongforyoubecauseyoumadeawrongchoiceinitiallyandbelievetheerroneouschoiceistheoneyoumuststaywith。
Suose,forexamle,yougotintoyourcarintendingtomeetafriendatanunfamiliarlocation。Yougetturnedaroundonthewaythereandgetlost。
Infailureformulanumberoneyoudiscoveryouarelostandattemttocorrectyourcourse。However,youaretoofaroffcourseforjustonecorrectiontogetyoubackontrack,soyoumakeanothercorrectionandanotherone。Afterthreeorfourcorrectionsyoudecideyouwillneverbeabletofndyourway,soyougiveu,arkyourcar,andneverreachyourdestination。
Infailureformulanumbertwoyoudecidethateventhoughyoumadeawrongturn,youmuststickwithitbecausetomakeanewchoicewouldmeanyoufailedwhenyoumadetheoriginaldecisionthatgotyoulost。Soyoucontinuedownthewrongroad,knowingitswrong,butrefusingtomakeanalterationbecauseyouvealreadymadeachoice,howeverwrongitmaybe。
Bothscenariossoundrettyabsurdinthatcontext,buttheworldisfullofeolewhogiveuandquitbeforereachingtheirgoal,andwhostaywithbadchoiceslongaftertheyhavediscoveredtheyarebad。
Toensuresuccessyoumustbewillingtoalteryourcourseandkeealteringit,andtotryagainandagain,asmanytimesasittakes,toreachyourdestination。Whetheryoureachitornotwilldeendonyourbeliefinyourabilitytoeventuallyarrive,andthatbringsusbacktotheconfdenceformula。
Thefaithtokeetryingultimatelycomesfromknowingyourselfandyourabilities,andknowinghowtousethemmosteffectively。Inthehustle-bustleoftodaysworld,wesometimesforgettotakeathoroughlookatourmostvaluableasset—ourselves。Onlywithself-awarenessandunderstandingcanwecometobelieveinourabilitytofndtherightsolutionandtoarriveatourgoals。
Peolewhodontknowthemselvesareeasilyside-tracked。Theyhavenowell-defnedersonalboundariesandnocenterofower。Athoroughandaccurateself-assessmentcanrovidethecomassweneedtogetandstayontrack。Withoutacenterofowerandersonalboundariestoguideus,thereisnowaywecanachieveourgoalsbecausethereisnowaytoknowforsurewhatourgoalsare,orshouldbe。
Hay,centered,well-directedeoleareeole,whoknowtheirowncorebeingandhonorit。Thesearetheeolewhohavethebasictoolstoattemtnewthings,tosetnewgoals,toersistinursuingthem。Thesearetheeolewhosucceed。Theysucceedbecauseeveryachievedgoalincreasestheirfaithintheirabilitytosucceedandenablesthemtotrygreaterandgreaterthings。Thehayresultisahighdegreeofself-confidenceand,withsufficientself-confdence,successiscertain。
一个人最重要的品质是:信心。在人生的每一个领域,它都具有无法估量的价值。特别是在商业或任何伟大的成就当中,它显得更为重要。不幸的是,这个重要的技能我们却几乎无处可学。但是,它既然是一项技能,只要方法得当,就能培养起来。
知识是获取信心的第一种工具。认知自身的强项和弱项,认知你想有所成就的领域。但是,只有知识还不够,知识只有通过实践证明以后,才能带来自信。我们把所想的或者所信仰的理论,放到真正的实际中去证实,从经验中收集数据或者反馈信息。如果反馈的信息是积极的,我们的理论就是正确的,从而采取相应的行动;如果反馈的信息是消极的,我们当中勇敢的人会改变局势,而更多的怯懦者通常会被这些消极的反馈阻挠,停止了前进的脚步。
通过了解、理解和正确运用下面这些原则和因素,通常可以获得信心。
(1)知识+经验+积极反馈=自信。
(2)成功的结果带来积极的反馈。
(3)成功的结果源自不懈的努力和反复的尝试。
(4)唯有相信自己终会成功,才能不断尝试。
这个原则似乎表明,我们必须相信自己有能力成功,才有可能经历某些成功。确实如此。信心原则中的知识部分就源于此,也是原则中第一个等式成立的原因。在没有任何尝试就相信我们会成功前,我们必须拥有一些知识,如成功需要什么,要有怎样的优势和能力的综合作用,也必须了解“失败”的真相。
尝试了,却没能如愿达到目标的结果,不是失败。只有当我们承认达不到,并放弃尝试时,才会出现失败。事实上,只有两种方式会导致失败。(1)在达到真正想要的目标前,你放弃了;(2)继续在错误的道路上前进,因为,你最初作出的选择是错误的,但你仍执拗地坚持。
举个例子,假设你开车去见一个朋友,但地点不熟悉。你走错了方向,迷路了。
在第一个失败的原则中,你发现自己迷失了方向,并试图改正路线。但是,你偏离得太远,因而不能一次性改正,回到正轨。所以,你要一次又一次地改正。三四次以后,你确信永远无法找到自己的路。于是,你放弃了,停下了车,你的目的地将永远无法到达。
在第二个失败原则中,尽管你走错了方向,但你必须坚持。因为作出一个新选择,意味着你作出的最初选择让你迷失了方向,你失败了。所以,你坚持在错误的道路上,尽管知道它是错误的,错得有多严重,但仍然拒绝改变。
上文中提到的这两种假设听起来很荒谬,但是,在达到目标前就放弃或离开,或者仍坚持已经发现的错误的人,在这个世界上还有很多。