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第88部分(第2页)

“No delusion—no madness: your mind; sir; is too strong for delusion; your health too sound for frenzy。”

“And where is the speaker? Is it only a voice? Oh! I cannot see; but I must feel; or my heart will stop and my brain burst。 Whatever—whoever you are—be perceptible to the touch or I cannot live!”

He groped; I arrested his wandering hand; and prisoned it in both mine。

“Her very fingers!” he cried; “her small; slight fingers! If so there must be more of her。”

The muscular hand broke from my custody; my arm was seized; my shoulder—neck—waist—I was entwined and gathered to him。

“Is it Jane? What is it? This is her shape—this is her size—”

“And this her voice;” I added。 “She is all here: her heart; too。 God bless you; sir! I am glad to be so near you again。”

“Jane Eyre!—Jane Eyre;” was all he said。

“My dear master;” I answered; “I am Jane Eyre: I have found you out—I am e back to you。”

“In truth?—in the flesh? My living Jane?”

“You touch me; sir;—you hold me; and fast enough: I am not cold like a corpse; nor vacant like air; am I?”

“My living darling! These are certainly her limbs; and these her features; but I cannot be so blest; after all my misery。 It is a dream; such dreams as I have had at night when I have clasped her once more to my heart; as I do now; and kissed her; as thus—and felt that she loved me; and trusted that she would not leave me。”

“Which I never will; sir; from this day。”

“Never will; says the vision? But I always woke and found it an empty mockery; and I was desolate and abandoned—my life dark; lonely; hopeless—my soul athirst and forbidden to drink—my heart famished and never to be fed。 Gentle; soft dream; nestling in my arms now; you will fly; too; as your sisters have all fled before you: but kiss me before you go—embrace me; Jane。”

“There; sir—and there!”’

I pressed my lips to his once brilliant and now rayless eyes—I swept his hair from his brow; and kissed that too。 He suddenly seemed to arouse himself: the conviction of the reality of all this seized him。

“It is you—is it; Jane? You are e back to me then?”

“I am。”

“And you do not lie dead in some ditch under some stream? And you are not a pining outcast amongst strangers?”

“No; sir! I am an independent woman now。”

“Independent! What do you mean; Jane?”

“My uncle in Madeira is dead; and he left me five thousand pounds。”

“Ah! this is practical—this is real!” he cried: “I should never dream that。 Besides; there is that peculiar voice of hers; so animating and piquant; as well as soft: it cheers my withered heart; it puts life into it。—What; Ja! Are you an independent woman? A rich woman?”

“If you won’t let me live with you; I can build a house of my own close up to your door; and you may e and sit in my parlour when you want pany of an evening。”

“But as you are rich; Jane; you have now; no doubt; friends who will look after you; and not suffer you to devote yourself to a blind lameter like me?”

“I told you I am independent; sir; as well as rich: I am my own mistress。”

“And you will stay with me?”

“Certainly—unless you object。 I will be your neighbour; your nurse; your housekeeper。 I find you lonely: I will be your panion—to read to you; to walk with you; to sit with you; to wait on you; to be eyes and hands to you。 Cease to look so melancholy; my dear master; you shall not be left desolate; so long as I live。”

He replied not: he seemed serious—abstracted; he sighed; he half… opened his lips as if to speak: he closed them again。 I felt a little embarrassed。 Perhaps I had too rashly over…leaped conventionalities; and he; like St。 John; saw impropriety in my inconsiderateness。 I had indeed made my proposal from the idea that he wished and would ask me to be his wife: an expectation; not the less certain because unexpressed; had buoyed me up; that he would claim me at once as his own。 But no hint to that effect escaping him and his countenance being more overcast; I suddenly remembered that I might have been all wrong; and was perhaps playing the fool unwittingly; and I began gently to withdraw myself from his arms—but he eagerly snatched me closer。

“No—no—Jane; you must not go。 No—I have touched you; heard you; felt the fort of your presence—the sweetness of your consolation: I cannot give up these joys。 I have little left in myself—I must have you。 The world may laugh—may call me absurd; selfish—but it does not signify。 My very soul demands you: it will be satisfied; or it will take de

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