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第11部分(第1页)

his friends; receiving their regard gratefully; glad of their

attention。 His heart was tormented within him; he did not try to

smile。 The time of his trial and his admittance; his Gethsemane

and his Triumphal Entry in one; had e now。

Behind her; there was so much unknown to him。 When he

approached her; he came to such a terrible painful unknown。 How

could he embrace it and fathom it? How could he close his arms

round all this darkness and hold it to his breast and give

himself to it? What might not happen to him? If he stretched and

strained for ever he would never be able to grasp it all; and to

yield himself naked out of his own hands into the unknown power!

How could a man be strong enough to take her; put his arms round

her and have her; and be sure he could conquer this awful

unknown next his heart? What was it then that she was; to which

he must also deliver himself up; and which at the same time he

must embrace; contain?

He was to be her husband。 It was established so。 And he

wanted it more than he wanted life; or anything。 She stood

beside him in her silk dress; looking at him strangely; so that

a certain terror; horror took possession of him; because she was

strange and impending and he had no choice。 He could not bear to

meet her look from under her strange; thick brows。

〃Is it late?〃 she said。

He looked at his watch。

〃No……half…past eleven;〃 he said。 And he made an excuse

to go into the kitchen; leaving her standing in the room among

the disorder and the drinking…glasses。

Tilly was seated beside the fire in the kitchen; her head in

her hands。 She started up when he entered。

〃Why havent you gone to bed?〃 he said。

〃I thought Id better stop an lock up an do;〃 she said。 Her

agitation quietened him。 He gave her some little order; then

returned; steadied now; almost ashamed; to his wife。 She stood a

moment watching him; as he moved with averted face。 Then she

said:

〃You will be good to me; wont you?〃

She was small and girlish and terrible; with a queer; wide

look in her eyes。 His heart leaped in him; in anguish of love

and desire; he went blindly to her and took her in his arms。

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