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第74部分(第1页)

ultimate home。 In the government; she knew which minister had

supreme control over Education; and it seemed to her that; in

some way; he was connected with her; as her father was connected

with her。

She had another self; another responsibility。 She was no

longer Ursula Brangwen; daughter of William Brangwen。 She was

also Standard Five teacher in St。 Philips School。 And it was a

case now of being Standard Five teacher; and nothing else。 For

she could not escape。

Neither could she succeed。 That was her horror。 As the weeks

passed on; there was no Ursula Brangwen; free and jolly。 There

was only a girl of that name obsessed by the fact that she could

not manage her class of children。 At week…ends there came days

of passionate reaction; when she went mad with the taste of

liberty; when merely to be free in the morning; to sit down at

her embroidery and stitch the coloured silks was a passion of

delight。 For the prison house was always awaiting her! This was

only a respite; as her chained heart knew well。 So that she

seized hold of the swift hours of the week…end; and wrung the

last drop of sweetness out of them; in a little; cruel

frenzy。

She did not tell anybody how this state was a torture to her。

She did not confide; either to Gudrun or to her parents; how

horrible she found it to be a school…teacher。 But when Sunday

night came; and she felt the Monday morning at hand; she was

strung up tight with dreadful anticipation; because the strain

and the torture was near again。

She did not believe that she could ever teach that great;

brutish class; in that brutal school: ever; ever。 And yet; if

she failed; she must in some way go under。 She must admit that

the mans world was too strong for her; she could not take her

place in it; she must go down before Mr。 Harby。 And all her life

henceforth; she must go on; never having freed herself of the

mans world; never having achieved the freedom of the great

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