Hey,Jones!ThatisoldColumbusJones—shroudcostfourhundreddollarsentiretrousseau,includingmonument,twenty-sevenhundred。Thiswasinthesringof1926。Itwasenormousstyleforthosedays。DeadeolecameallthewayfromtheAlleghaniestoseehisthings—theartythatoccuiedthegravenexttomineremembersitwell。Nowdoyouseethatindividualgoingalongwithaieceofahead-boardunderhisarm,oneleg-bonebelowhiskneegone,andnotathingintheworldon?ThatisBarstowDalhousie,andnexttoColumbusJoneshewasthemostsumtuouslyoutfittedersonthateverenteredourcemetery。
"
"Weareallleaving。Wecannottoleratethetreatmentwearereceivingatthehandsofourdescendants。Theyoennewcemeteries,buttheyleaveustoourignominy。Theymendthestreets,buttheynevermendanythingthatisaboutusorbelongstous。Lookatthatcoffinofmine—yetItellyouinitsdayitwasaieceoffurniturethatwouldhaveattractedattentioninanydrawing-roominthiscity。Youmayhaveitifyouwantit—Icantaffordtoreairit。Putanewbottominher,andartofanewto,andabitoffreshliningalongtheleftside,andyoullfindheraboutascomfortableasanyrecetacleofherseciesyouevertried。
"
"Nothanksno,dontmentionityouhavebeenciviltome,andIwouldgiveyoualltheroertyIhavegotbeforeIwouldseemungrateful。Nowthiswinding-sheetisakindofasweetthinginitsway,ifyouwouldliketo—No?Well,justasyousay,butIwishedtobefairandliberaltheresnothingmeanaboutme。Good-by,friend,Imustbegoing。Imayhaveagoodwaytogotonight—dontknow。Ionlyknowonethingforcertain,andthatisthatIamontheemigranttrailnow,andIllneversleeinthatcrazyoldcemeteryagain。IwilltraveltillIfiendresectablequarters,ifIhavetohoofittoNewJersey。Alltheboysaregoing。Itwasdecidedinublicconclave,lastnight,toemigrate,andbythetimethesunrisestherewontbeaboneleftinouroldhabitations。Suchcemeteriesmaysuitmysurvivingfriends,buttheydonotsuittheremainsthathavethehonortomaketheseremarks。Myoinionisthegeneraloinion。Ifyoudoubtit,goandseehowthedeartingghostsusetthingsbeforetheystarted。Theywerealmostriotousintheirdemonstrationsofdistaste。
"
"Hello,herearesomeoftheBledsoes,andifyouwillgivemealiftwiththistombstoneIguessIwilljoincomanyandjogalongwiththem—mightyresectableoldfamily,theBledsoes,andusedtoalwayscomeoutinsix-horsehearsesandallthatsortofthingfiftyyearsagowhenIwalkedthesestreetsindaylight。Goodby,friend。
"
Andwithhisgravestoneonhisshoulderhejoinedthegrislyrocession,dragginghisdamagedcoffinafterhim,fornotwithstandingheressedituonmesoearnestly,Iutterlyrefusedhishositality。Isuosethatforasmuchastwohoursthesesadoutcastswentclackingby,ladenwiththeirdismaleffects,andallthattimeIsatityingthem。
Oneortwooftheyoungestandleastdilaidatedamongtheminquiredaboutmidnighttrainsontherailways,buttherestseemedunacquaintedwiththatmodeoftravel,andmerelyaskedaboutcommonublicroadstovarioustownsandcities,someofwhicharenotonthemanow,andvanishedfromitandfromtheearthasmuchasthirtyyearsago,andsomefewofthemneverhadexistedanywherebutonmas,andrivateonesinreal-estateagenciesatthat。Andtheyaskedabouttheconditionofthecemeteriesinthesetownsandcities,andaboutthereutationthecitizensboreastoreverenceforthedead。
Thiswholematterinterestedmedeely,andlikewisecomelledmysymathyforthesehomelessones。Anditallseemingreal,andInotknowingitwasadream,Imentionedtooneshroudedwandereranideathathadenteredmyheadtoublishanaccountofthiscuriousandverysorrowfulexodus,butsaidalsothatIcouldnotdescribeittruthfully,andjustasitoccurred,withoutseemingtotriflewithagravesubjectandexhibitanirreverenceforthedeadthatwouldshockanddistresstheirsurvivingfriends。Butthisblandandstatelyremnantofaformercitizenleanedhimfarovermygateandwhiseredinmyear,andsaid:
"Donotletthatdisturbyou。Thecommunitythatcanstandsuchgraveyardsasthoseweareemigratingfromcanstandanythingabodycansayabouttheneglectedandforsakendeadthatlieinthem。
"
Atthatverymomentacockcrowed,andtheweirdrocessionvanishedandleftnotashredorabonebehind。Iawoke,andfoundmyselflyingwithmyheadoutofthebedand
"sagging
"downwardconsiderably—aositionfavorabletodreamingdreamswithmoralsinthem,maybe,butnotoetry。
NOTE。-Thereaderisassuredthatifthecemeteriesinhistownareketingoodorder,thisDreamisnotleveledathistownatall,butisleveledarticularlyandvenomouslyatthenexttown。