rlotte docked in Newport; and it wasn’t snowing that hard。
Nate ran up to the attic; grabbed his black Lacroix wallet from the oak dresser; and shoved it in the back pocket of his khakis。 He picked up what few things he had with him; shrugged on his coat; and made for the door。
When he opened it; he found Jenny standing there。
“It’s not a good time;” he mumbled; trying to sidestep her。 “I’m leaving。”
Jenny stayed where she was; blocking his path。 “I want to go with you; Nate;” she said; her large brown eyes wide and pleading。 “Please?”
“I’m not going back to New York。 I’m taking my dad’s boat and heading up to Maine;” Nate invented。 He wasn’t sure where to go; but he knew he needed to get far away from here。
“I’ve never been to Maine。” Jenny offered a small smile。 “I know you didn’t hook up with Blair or Serena。 I know you’re different。 And…” She paused and looked shyly at the ground。 She was wearing her red coat and hunter green galoshes; and looked adorably Christmasy。 “I really want to be with you。”
Jenny bit her pink bottom lip as she waited for his answer。 Her sophomore year at Waverly; she’d been in a love triangle of her own; locked in a vicious battle with her roommate over Easy Walsh; a sweet boy from Tennessee。 True; Nate and Blair and Serena had known each other for a long time; and the emotions ran deep。 But she knew Nate; and she knew he had good intentions。 She glanced up again and met his eyes。
Nate paused; taking in Jenny’s sweet; hopeful expression。 He could still hear Blair and Serena’s shrieks from downstairs。 But Jenny… Jenny didn’t look like she’d yell at anyone。
“Are you sure?” he asked finally。
Jenny nodded。 “There are stairs over there。” She pointed to the service entrance she’d found this morning when trying to sneak back down to her room。
Nate nodded slowly。 They were only about a mile from the harbor。 They could walk。 “Let’s go。”
They do say that every ending is a beginning of sorts。
the end of innocence
Blair threw herself facedown on her dad’s bed and let out a wail。
“Bear?” Harold emerged from the bathroom; tying a robe around his waist。 He perched on the side of the bed and rubbed Blair’s back。 “Giles and I heard you while we were in the hot tub。 Are you okay?”
“My whole fucking life sucks;” Blair said; her voice muffled by the thick goose…down forter。
“Talk to me;” Harold said; sinking down beside her on the bed。
Blair sat up。 “It’s Nate;” she said between choking sobs。 She caught a glimpse of her reflection in the mirrors her dad had creepily installed all around the bed。 Her face was splotchy and her eyelashes were clumped together; wet with tears。 She looked like a scared little girl。 “Whenever he es into my life; I do stupid things。 Now Chuck hates me; I hate Serena; and everything’s all fucked up;” she said as she burst into a fresh sob。
“Bear;” Harold said seriously; “right now there’s a man in this house who is still here; who loves you; who gives you New Year’s Eve presents。” Harold smiled and placed his hand on the enamel bracelet around Blair’s wrist。 “It’s a great time for a fresh start。 Go tell him that you’re confused。 Everyone makes mistakes;” he added tenderly。
Blair looked skeptically at her father。 She’d never gotten love advice from him before。 But he made a good point。 Chuck knew better than anyone that people changed。 Even her。 “Thanks; Daddy;” Blair said; rising。
She wiped her tears with the back of her hand and headed down to the kitchen。 Chuck was sitting at the island; looking at the financial section of the The Wall Street Journal。 It was obvious he wasn’t reading anything。
“Hi;” Blair said in a small voice。
“Hi。” Chuck stood up。 He kept his arms at his sides。
Blair took a deep breath。 “I’m so sorry。 I wasn’t going up there to sleep with Nate。 I mean; I just… I don’t know what I was doing。 It’s like; whenever he and Serena are around I act like this person who I don’t even like;” Blair confessed in a rush of words。 It felt good to say it out loud。 “But I’m in love with you。 I know that。” Blair sucked in her breath and her nose made a loud snot…sucking sound。
Chuck pulled Blair into his arms and tenderly pushed her hair off her face。 “I love you too;” he said simply。 “And I know you。”
Blair resisted the urge to look away from Chuck’s brown eyes。 It was true。 He’d known her in high school; when she used to lock herself in bathrooms to throw up; when she and Serena would put fake tattoos on their butt cheeks and go out underwearless in too…short dresses; when she would get ridiculously drunk on pink drinks at the Tribeca Star。 And he knew her now。 He knew how she took her coffee; where she liked to study; what she looked like when she woke up in the morning。 He knew what she needed on a rainy day and on a sunny one。
“Can we start the day over again?” Blair asked。 Chuck pulled her close to him。
“Yes;” he breathed into her hair。 “We can。 And tomorrow; it’ll be a new year。”
Blair nestled into his broad; strong chest。 Maybe if she stayed here; close and safe with Chuck; everything would be okay。 Maybe she’d never have to think about Nate and Serena again。
Or maybe avoidance can’t solve all your problems。
where do you go when you’re lonely?