Dan opened the door of the Buick Skylark; not bothering to brush off the inches of snow that clung to the roof。 Serena slid silently into the passenger seat; staring straight ahead。 She was trembling ever so slightly; but Dan didn’t place his hand on her knee。 He didn’t know how he felt yet。
Dan began to drive; slowly following the signs to I…95。 The car felt oddly empty without Jenny。 He still couldn’t believe she’d gone off with Nate。 She’d texted Dan to let him know that she was safe and taken care of; and that she’d be home in a few days。 The fact that his girlfriend and his little sister had both fallen for that guy’s charms was seriously fucked up。
“Why were you going to Nate’s room?” Dan asked once they were on the highway。 It was the first sentence he’d spoken since they left。
“I don’t know;” Serena said; staring straight ahead。 Something about her matter…of…fact tone made Dan know she was telling the truth。 “I think I mainly just wanted to talk to him。 To see him。 We’d been talking about the old days and it just brought up a lot。” Serena took a napkin from the cup holder and began ripping it into smaller and smaller pieces。
Dan nodded。 That sort of made sense。 It was how he felt when he was texting Vanessa。 Like sliding back into something familiar。
“Would you have slept with him?” Dan asked。
Serena bit her lip。 Over the years; whenever she and Nate were alone together; things happened beyond their control。 But that was in the past。 “No;” Serena decided。
“I don’t get it;” Dan said tightly。 “Are you in love with him?”
Serena sighed; searching for the words; for a way to explain the whole messy situation so it would make sense to Dan。 She rubbed her hands in front of the heater to warm them。 How could she answer that? “No。 But he was my first love。 And that’s hard to get over。”
Dan nodded; staring straight ahead at the dark road; thinking of Vanessa。 The snow had finally stopped and the roads were plowed; but they were pletely empty。 It was like the whole world was drinking eggnog and counting down to midnight somewhere。 “I get it。” It had taken him two years to get over her。 And then; with one text message; suddenly it felt like she was back in his life。
“I love you;” Serena said; her voice catching in her throat。
All of a sudden; Dan started laughing。 “If we got through this weekend; we can get through anything。”
Serena smiled。 Soon they’d be back in New York; back to their real lives; and this would all feel like a dream。
Doesn’t she mean nightmare?
“Vanessa; I need you to really flambé the soufflé。 Humphrey tradition;” Rufus roared。 A plastic top hat that read NEW YEAR’S EVE in silver foil letters was perched on his grizzly salt…and…pepper hair; and he wore a T…shirt with a cartoon of reindeer sitting on a couch drinking beers。
Vanessa used a match to set the chocolate soufflé on fire。 It felt good to be surrounded by noise and people after so many weeks of silently hanging around the loft。 Rufus’s friends were sitting on the couch; drinking vodka and grumbling about munism versus Marxism。 None of them had even asked who she was or why she was here。 Rufus had opened the door as if he’d been expecting her。 He’d told her that Dan; Serena; and Jenny were snowbound in Rhode Island; and that he was glad to have some young blood in the house。 That was hours ago; and since then she’d perfected Rufus’s recipe。
Suddenly; the door opened and Dan and Serena tumbled in; holding hands; snowflakes dusting their hair。
“Look who’s here!” Rufus cried proudly; gesturing to Vanessa as if he’d made her appear by magic。
Dan’s gaze shifted from Serena to Vanessa。 “I’m so sorry; I didn’t mean to intrude;” Vanessa said hastily。 She was still holding her wooden soufflé spoon; and set it down on the counter。 “It’s just… Hollis and I broke up and Ruby has; like; seventeen houseguests。” Vanessa wiped her hands on her apron。 “But I can leave;” she added helplessly。 Why did she think it was a good idea to barge back into Dan’s life? Why had she thought the texts from last night meant anything at all?
Dan dropped Serena’s hand。 It was so strange; and yet so familiar; to see Vanessa here; in his kitchen。 Her dark hair was shoulder length and choppy; and she wore a pair of tight jeans and a white tank top underneath his dad’s dorky Kiss the Cook apron。 Her milky white skin contrasted with her jet…black hair。 He’d forgotten how beautiful she was。
“Sorry to hear that;” Serena said; an edge to her voice。 It was too bad that Vanessa had broken up with her boyfriend; but why was she so fortable crashing at Dan’s?
Asks the girl who breaks and enters Newport summer homes。
“Thanks。 At least I’m earning my keep;” Vanessa cracked; pointing to the charred soufflé。
Dan smiled。 Vanessa had always been a good sport about his dad’s experimental cooking。 It was nice to have her here again; back at their apartment。 It felt like home。
“So…” Vanessa trailed off。 “Is it okay if I stay?”
Dan looked straight at Vanessa as if he hadn’t heard。 “You can always stay;” he said softly。 Vanessa smiled back; nodding her head; a slight blush creeping over her cheeks。
“Right; sure。 Of course;” Serena said sulkily; sitting down at the kitchen counter。 Above her; the cuckoo clock struck midnight; its lilting; carefree chirp seeming to mock her。 It might be a new year; but she felt like she’d experienced this all before。
Two girls; one guy; and New Year’s Eve… Talk about déjà vu。
IV
hey people!
Only six more months until we’re out in the real world; and the signs are everywhere。 Theory suits and Prada pumps scream “signing bonuses。” The student center is packed with seniors writing Fulbright grant proposals to study contemporary indigenous literature in Canada; applying to grad school; or creating a backpacking…through…Latin…America